So, it’s Thursday afternoon, and it’s day 57 of the preseason—not really, it only seems that way—and we’re standing at the far end of one of the practice fields. This is not because we want to be 70 yards away from the action. This is because we’re not permitted to stand on the sidelines, between the practice fields, to watch practice.

As you might recall, it was proven beyond a shadow of a doubt in Bernoulli’s Third Therom from the Franco-Prussian Wars that if the media is permitted to stand on the sidelines, between the practice fields during the preseason, it will cost the team a Super Bowl berth. You can look it up. Or maybe not.

Anyway, we’re standing there, and maybe we aren’t writing down every detail of this particular practice. And Danny Smith, the special teams coach, walks by. He’s not above engaging in a little give-and-take with the ink-stained wretches of the world, so he says, “All right, you pick the punter. You’ve seen them as much as I have. You pick him, Joseph, David, John, Paul.“

You’re thinking he’s got the names wrong for the Beatles. No, that’s not it. Permit me to introduce my distinguished colleagues, please hold your applause until each has been introduced: Joseph White of the Associated Press; David Elfin from the Washington Times; John Keim from the Washington Examiner. “Paul” is me, also known as The Woodman, aka, The Wrath of Woody.

We laugh. Then I say to coach Smith, “OK. That’s fine. But we have to trade paychecks.“
Yes, it always comes down to the money with me.

Danny Smith laughs. “You want to trade paychecks? I got a story for you. I was coaching the DBs (defensive backs) in Philadelphia, and I was going over something on the board with Troy Vincent. Bobby Taylor comes in, asks how much longer we’re going to be, because he and Troy are riding together. I say, ‘About 20 minutes.‘ Bobby says, ‘OK, I’ll go upstairs and get my paycheck.‘ Troy says, ‘Bobby, get mine while you’re up there.‘

“Bobby leaves and when he comes back a few minutes later, he’s walking all hunched over, like something is wrong with his back. Troy says, ‘Bobby, what is wrong with you.‘ And Bobby says, ‘Troy, your check is so much heavier than mine.‘

Made me laugh. How about you?

OK, as for the football team, here’s what I’m wondering. Rock Cartwright—drafted by the Ol’ Ball Coach, Steve Spurrier, I must add—missed practice today (Thursday) because he has torn rib cartilage. I’ve had bruised rib cartilage, and let me tell you, it is a new experience in pain. The idea of playing football with torn rib cartilage strikes me as absolutely insane. Even if you had a shot to kill the pain during the game, when that shot wore off, I can not imagine the amount of pain you would feel to do something fairly easy, breathing, for instance.

Shawn Springs, star cornerback, missed practice with a strained Achilles tendon. Springs was declared all but out for Saturday night’s preseason game against Buffalo. Redskins coach Jim Zorn said whether Cartwright will play would be a “game-time” decision. And that it would be good if Cartwright could get his work in as a running back and on the special teams.

Really? What is there to know about Rock Cartwright that the coaching staff doesn’t already know? The guy will do anything he’s asked to do. He has made himself into a capable kickoff returner and special teams standout. Why does he need to play in a preseason game against Buffalo?

Chances are that Cartwright won’t play. He deserves a night off. He’ll want to play because he realizes that he is not guaranteed a roster spot, and he approaches every training camp as an act of survival. That fact that Zorn said it would be good if Cartwright could get his work in makes you wonder, is Cartwright in danger of not making the team?

We’ll check back later this month, when the cuts begin, and see what we see.