My first reaction to the “exclusive reveal” by In Touch Weekly of this season’s “Dancing with the Stars” competitors (http://intouchweekly.hollywood.com/2008/08/dancing_with_the_stars_sneak_p.php) was apathy.

Lance Bass? OK. I’ve been hearing his name bandied about for the show for months.
Kim Kardashian? Whatever. Another “famous for being famous” nobody.
Florence Henderson? Well, they do like to trot out a, um, mature-aged competitor, so she’s this season’s over-60 pick.
And then ... my apathy turned to mortification.
DAN MARINO!!!!
WHAT??!! Not my classy Dan, the guy I grew up adoring while cheering on my hometown Miami Dolphins. Not my handsome Hall of Fame quarterback whom I managed to forgive for those goofy NutriSystem diet commericals with Larry the Cable Guy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92wr1UfMN_w). At least he countered that with his usually incisive commentary on CBS Sports and a general gregariousness and good guy image.
Sigh.

What is it with this show and the Miami Dolphins? Last season, the hunkalicious Dolphin-turned-Redskin Jason Taylor displayed a surprising amount of gracefulness in his smooth routines on the show—and probably would have won if he weren’t competing against a professional ice dancer.
And now they’ve recruited the Dolphins’ most beloved player in team history.
For some reason, I don’t expect Marino to be as fluid a dancer as Taylor, but you know I’ll now be watching to find out.
Curse you, “DWTS”!!! So much for my reality-free fall.
UPDATE: Well, OK, maybe I can escape reality this fall: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/sports/football/pro/dolphins/sfl-dandance080608,0,6558480.story