I’ve been out of town for a week—a family emergency that turned out beautifully (as in, my father is back home and doing well, thank you!)—so of course my e-mail in-box was crammed and spammed to the max. I suppose the most unexpected piece of mail I received was an invitation.

An invitation, you say? How lovely!

Not so, this one.

Do NOT ask how I ended up on this mailing list. I have no clue. But it’s true. I—Miss Sweetness and Light of 2008, right?—have been cordially invited to attend the launch of Girls Gone Wild magazine in West Hollywood, Calif.

It wasn’t enough that jillions of DVDs are already available?

Apparently not. “The Popular Lifestyle Brand Moves into Publishing, bringing its Celebration of Fun, Freedom and Hot College Girls to the Newsstand,“ says my invitation. (Capital letters are courtesy of Girls Gone Wild.)

Furthermore, smilin’ Joe Francis, mighty proud founder and CEO of GGW (hang on a sec! Is he out on parole?) will be on hand, along with “beautiful girls and more than 100 of Joe’s closest celebrity friends (including the Kardashian clan).“
I still haven’t figured why members of the “Kardashian clan”—Kim, Kourtney and Khloe—are so big in the tabloids. I mean, I know there’s the E! reality show “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”—and I just found out, to my horror, that Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner is their stepdad. But I still can’t figure out what the big deal is.

By the way, Jenner’s offspring with the Kardashian mom, Kris, includes Kylie and Kendall. Too cute, huh? The one brother—not Jenner’s biological child—is named Robert. Lucky for him because he could’ve ended up a Kidron, Krispin, Kalvin or Klark. At least now he has a chance for a normal life. Nah ... scratch that.

But back to the GGW magazine kickoff (ooh, Kickoff Kardashian has a ring to it!). I’m also invited to attend the red-carpet reception, the thought of which immediately brings to mind dozens of college-age women strutting down the carpet for their Joan Rivers interview. “Who are you wearing?“ she screams, as big banners (or small, depending ... ) flash across their chests: “REAL! RAW! UNCENSORED!“

Gosh, Joe, thanks, but I’m busy tomorrow night. I’m pretty sure I have to wash my hair. In fact, I might need a hot, hot shower. Suddenly I feel just a tad dirty.

Posted by Cynthia McMullen in • Entertainment • Music • Television • Lifestyle • Fashion
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