A mere five days ago, I was worried how Miley Cyrus, at the tender age of 15, was going to produce her memoirs.

That was then, and this is now. Forget the memoirs, l’il Miley has much bigger fish to fry. In February, she was photographed half-nekkid (as “they” say) by photog-to-the-stars Annie Leibovitz for the June issue of Vanity Fair.

Well, the June issue is about to hit the newsstands and the, er, trash has hit the fan. And the fans are not amused. So young Miley has done what every child-star-gone-grown-up-too-soon has done: issued an abject apology wherein she “never intended for any of this to happen.” (As Melissa says, incredulously, “What did she THINK Annie was shooting when she took her shirt off and wrapped herself in a sheet?!")

“Most of all,” Miley says in a statement, “I have let myself down. I will learn from my mistakes and trust my support team. My family and my faith will guide me through my life’s journey.”

Ahem. This brings us to Part II of Miley-gate, the part where the girl’s parents, Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus, were there for most of the shoot. They didn’t see the final shot, apparently—whichever the final shot was—but her grandmother and teacher were there for that. So ... no excuses. Her support team, clearly, wasn’t using good judgment. Unless they lived under a rock, they knew Leibovitz would push the envelope and that “artistic” doesn’t always mean “clothed.”

Which brings up to Part III. Have you seen the photos of Miley and her dad together? They’re all over youtube.com, Vanity Fair’s Web site, etc. And don’t tell me that 46-year-old Billy Ray Cyrus, who’s been around the block a few times, didn’t know exactly what impression the photos would give where he’s wrapped around his daughter like a dude on a beach date.

It’s all too sad. The kid has her own TV show, sold out a concert tour and has multiplatinum albums. Miley-gate could go either way: garner her a ton of priceless noteriety or mess with her rep as a rising young star. In today’s climate, I’d guess it will be the former.

Fans get ticked, Miley apologizes, Disney—oh, yeah, this is funny, Disney arises in righteous indignation, saying V.F. is taking advantage of Miley (Disney’s own little cash calf). The whole thing blows over, people think it’s a joke and the next thing you know, she’s wearing torn fishnets a la Britney and hooked on, well, caffeine at least.

Yeah, I’m painting a pretty dark picture. I’m sure most folks will think I’m being harsh, that it’s all just part of the celebrity process. But I keep hoping some child star will remain unscathed till ... I dunno ... is 21 too much to ask?

At this point, the only one who comes to mind is Raven Symone, who for my money is still a down-to-earth young woman who doesn’t feel compelled to go the “artistic” route. 

Miley will probably be OK. But her parents need to take a long look in the mirror.

Posted by Cynthia McMullen in • Entertainment • Movies • Music • Television
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