Remember way back in 2006 when Simon Cowell so despised Taylor Hicks, couldn’t think of put-downs for the hyperactive bar singer fast enough, yet had to sit and grimace through his performances week after week as that omnipotent Soul Patrol boosted Hicks to what has now become a hollow victory?
That’s pretty much how I feel about David Archuleta.
Resigned to the reality that no matter how blatantly he jumbles lyrics (or, in the case of last night’s “With You,” mumbles over the melody to disguise his mistakes), how shiny, yet empty his vocal performance, or how ill-equipped he is to handle anything resembling a conversation, the teen with controlling daddy issues will be in next week’s finale and likely win.
Speaking of resignation, David A.’s read of Billy Joel’s “And So it Goes” (interesting choice from Ms. Abdul) sapped the poignant song of its weary acquiescence and instead made it the equivalent of studying a Monet and walking away with a shrug. It’s a deep song about loss and miscommunication, but as presented by David A., it could have been a nonchalant “oh well” about Banana Republic being out of his sweater size.
But, as usual, Randy Jackson lapped up the youngster’s downy delivery, stopping a smidgen short of anointing him the “Idol” prince.
Eh, just as well. As Chris Daughtry has more than proved, not winning “Idol” is usually the best thing that can happen to any contestant not interested in singing double-glazed, tear-jerking pap. So hey, David Cook, we’ll soon see you opening for a major arena rock band … but only if you promise never to sing that Switchfoot song again.
I’d love to see David C. and Syesha Mercado face off if only because they both resemble the complete package far more than the Mouseketeer. As David C. demonstrated last night, he is capable of much more than restructuring pop songs into Nickelback-worthy rockers.
Anyone who can hit all of the twisting key changes in Roberta Flack’s “”The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” and then stay on point while a squealing guitar derails during Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” – as David C. did --deserves more compensation than tepid praise from Randy. (Side note: Coincidence that Simon’s pick for David C. was a song that Leona Lewis, Simon’s protege, also covers on her debut album?)
But clearly, Randy’s thesaurus failed him last night, as he told BOTH David’s that they were capable of singing the phone book. Is that really a compliment?
And just as I was anticipating a night of good notices for three solid Syesha performances (OK, two and a half), Paula – Paula! – bludgeoned the suddenly sassy songstress’ dream right in front of all 21-million-and-rapidly-falling of us.
“I don’t know if it’s going to be good enough to get into the finals,” Paula told Syesha, who continued to beam bravely, likely because she was relieved to finally be freed from the spandex and sequins that nearly swallowed her during a stellar run on Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You.”
Well, I know who we can blame when Syesha is sent back to her room tonight – those goofy producers who chose for her third song a bright, syncopated slice of vapidity that no one knows.
Are you really telling me that with all of “Idol”’s juice, Nigel Lythgoe and Co. couldn’t get a Beyonce or Rihanna song cleared, instead saddling Syesha with Gia Farrell’s “Hit Me Up” from the “Happy Feet” soundtrack? It would not be inappropriate to ask at this point, “Who the heck is Gia Farrell” and “Didn’t that penguin movie come out almost two years ago?”
The answers are a) a young singer whom you have no reason to have heard of and b) yes.
But none of that matters, because the “Idol” gods determined weeks ago that this year’s winner would be named David.
What I would like to know, though, is why we were subjected to what felt like dozens of plugs for iTunes, the “Idol” tour and other Fox shows – not to mention an inordinate amount of playful bickering among the judges – yet there was no time to show footage from the final trio’s hometown visits aside from cursory “Oh, look, Simon Cowell has just sent me a text message. Let me see what song he has chosen for me to sing,” contrivance.
Maybe we’ll get a look tonight – as long as the show can fit it in between the Ford commercial and endorsement of Coke products.
Read Less...
Post a comment