How big a sigh of relief do you think Nigel Lythgoe breathed upon seeing the final tally of this week’s votes?

Can you imagine if Jason Castro had received the fewest after Tuesday’s Paulagate fiasco? I have no doubt that he was legitimately safe, since every 13-year-old not texting by the thousand for Archuletta gives their votes to the bland, dreadlocked one.

But now there’s a reason for the show to have sneakily swapped results.

I did love the many conspiracy theories floating around the Web yesterday in the wake of Paula’s gaffe – and I’ll return to those in a second – but first, we say goodbye to sweet, vulnerable, weepy Brooke White.

It’s really a shame that Syesha Mercado had such a strong week with Neil Diamond’s songs, because she deserved the boot before Brooke, who, while not the best singer, is sort of charming in her inability to truly keep it together.

Even during her swan song of “I Am, I Said,” she forgot the words! But hey, if there’s one thing I admire about these contestants, it’s their ability to, as Bree on “Desperate Housewives” told us this week, put their emotions in an empty box and put that box in an empty closet. Or something housewifey like that.

I’d be a puddle before Ryan even said my name – which is sort of how Brooke reacted last night (think she sneaked a peek at his card on her walk to center stage?).

Anyway, since there is really no suspense left this season and we’re resigned to a David/David face-off (and the wrong David will probably win), let’s get back to the conspiracy theories.

Many Web crawlers insisted that Paula’s Tuesday mistake of critiquing Jason’s second song before he sang it was proof that the producers give the judges scripts to read. Please. As if Simon Cowell would allow anyone to put words in his mouth?

But this is fun, so let me add to the whispering. Tonight, about 20 minutes into the results show, my husband was flipping around our TiVo files and called up the scheduled recording of this coming Tuesday’s show. In the info box that pops up with show information, it said, “The remaining finalists compete. David Archuleta, Jason Castro, David Cook, Syesha Mercado.”

Hmmmm. Now, this was 40 minutes BEFORE the results show ended, and whose name was missing? So, is TiVo just listing the contestants alphabetically and only had room for four names, and since Brooke’s last name would be last on a list, she got bumped?

I don’t know, people. You all had some pretty wild ideas about Paula yesterday, so you tell me.

[Disclaimer: For the record, I have no doubt this is a coincidence and Brooke drew the short straw in the alphabet lottery].

Ryan did reference Tuesday’s issue, but in a weird context. “The rumors are not true,” he said about Paula. “She’s part of our family and we love her.”

So…what rumors? Were people really clamoring for a Paula firing? Oh, c’mon, she’s the most entertaining part of the show! I’d rather watch her fumble and stumble every week than sit through Neil Diamond performing a new song so hokey, it makes “Red, Red Wine” sound poetic (though I must say, he’s aged well, both in voice and [possibly-with-help-of-plastic-surgery] looks.

Next week, the remaining quartet tackle songs from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I guess that means we could hear anything from Madonna’s “Ray of Light” to Van Halen’s “Panama” to The Doors’ “Break On Through” (oh, Michael Johns, where ARE you?) to Bobby Darin’s “Splish Splash” (that should fit in Archuletta’s wheelhouse).

I don’t know. After all of this week’s nonsense, I’m a little over the show. Just me, or are you feeling a little less “Idol” love, too?

Posted by Melissa Ruggieri in
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