Fran Martin, Smithfield the painting pig’s “mom,“ had this to say about their “America’s Got Talent” experience in New York. Kind of whets your appetite, eh? For the TV show, I mean. Stay tuned!

Fran is a colorful writer, to say the least:

“Can’t tell you the results, but want to let you know we are back, and not going anywhere, anytime soon. 

“Crashed and burned. Pulled pork, crispy bacon.  Took a long time to get started, finally painted, then wouldn’t stop. Finally stopped and then would not get off the stage!  What a mess.  Pig-headed. He laid down on the stage and refused to get up and leave. 

“They wanted TV, well by golly, leave up to me and Smithfield to give them just what they wanted.  But I would do it all over again.  I had so much fun.  It was an experience.“

Smithfield, Richmond’s most famous painting pig—make that Richmond’s ONLY painting pig—is back on the celebrity circuit. He and his human, Fran Martin of Chesterfield, made the trek to New York recently to check out the “America’s Got Talent” auditions.

It should come as no surprise that Smithfield made the grade. “AGT” is clearly an equal opportunity show, given the, er, inhuman nature of some of its previous contestants. (Leonid the Magnificent, anyone? Surely you haven’t forgotten the scary, 7-foot “angel boy.“)

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At any rate, check out the third-season premiere on NBC Tuesday, a two-hour special that begins at 9 p.m. You’ve seen the commercials, right? Smithfield is one of the featured performers in a quick montage of what’s-to-come.

The-powers-that-be-at-NBC told Martin that Smithfield might be on Tuesday night. But it’s more likely the little porker will make his “AGT” debut the following week, June 24.

So set the TiVo and plan to root (ha! pig humor!) for the local talent.

So my friend Regina visited this weekend. Regina and I have been buds since eighth grade but haven’t lived in the same city since 10th grade. It’s one of those friendships, though, where you can go a year without corresponding—but the next time you meet, it’s like you saw each other yesterday.

Regina and her family now live in Springfield. But luckily for me, Regina loves Richmond. Seriously, she could be a whole “You go, Richmond!“ campaign in and of herself. That’s part of the reason it’s so much fun when she visits. She’s always ready to try the latest restaurant, cruise a new neighborhood or check out the trendy shopping areas.

Considering she was only here for about 27 hours, we outdid ourselves this weekend. I introduced her to Common Groundz, The Phoenician and Cafe Rustica. Score! She loved all three.

Common Groundz (above)—coffeehouse at Broad and Boulevard with VCU vibe, great sandwiches and fabulous Zuppa soups. The Phoenician (below)—near West End remake of La Casita with great Lebanese fare (love the olives, pita bread and yogurt cheese that appears as soon as you sit down), plus we got the best seats in the house, what with the “floofy” pillows and all. Cafe Rustica—downtown Main Street post-church Sunday brunch, where the savory bread pudding was only improved by the addition of maple syrup (who knew?!). Excellent omelets and bread. Plus, it’s just so darned jazzy with all the dark wood and European touches.

We planned to drop in on Broad Appetit yesterday afternoon, but the rain and dearth of parking interfered. Parking was more of a problem than it ordinarily would be on a Sunday because Theatre IV’s “Peter Pan” matinee was going on simultaneously. Managing director Phil Whiteway and artistic director Bruce Miller were actually out on Marshall Street trying to help theater patrons find parking. Bruce said they’d managed to find about 200 parking spaces—but the theater seats more than 500!

Of course, that’s a good problem to have. It’s always great to see downtown busy even if people have to walk a few blocks to get where they’re going. And the rain did fizzle out after a bit.

On Saturday afternoon, we went to Stony Point, visiting my friend Susan at Sak’s Fifth Avenue, checking out Anthropologie (one of my favorite drop-in shops) and spending some quality time on the benches outside, soaking up the amazing weather and doing some serious people- and dog-watching.

As Regina noted, many of the Stony Point Fashion Park pooches arrived in pairs. They ranged the canine spectrum, from Yorkies (one of which was a championship dog) to a Dalmatian (mixed) to fluffy white things I couldn’t possibly ID. But boy, were they cute.

I left the mall with one burning question: How—and WHY—do women shop in stilettos? Especially on brick pavements? Inquiring minds ...

At any rate, it was a fine Richmond weekend, made better by the presence of a really good friend.

Not exactly. But I did have enough plans to keep me from having time to trim my Bradford pear tree. (Poor tree, I’ll be home soon!)

Here’s some of what I learned in my wanderings:

A. First Fridays Artwalk is still going strong. As always, it’s lovely to see people—all ages, all stages—out and about on the streets of downtown Richmond. I had my first listen to the Happy Lucky Combo and got my first look at the Artwalk’s new market (in a parking lot next to 1708 Gallery). A great addition to the proceedings, it offered fresh eggs, kale, carrots, lettuce ... just the thing to pick up when you’re out perusing art but thinking omelets and salad.

B. I’ve only been to Black Finn once— and that was for a sad occasion— so I’m probably not the best judge of what it has to offer. But my hairdresser, Deborah, hangs out at the Shockoe Bottom restaurant and bar on weekends. So it has to be a happenin’ place.

C. My friend Lisa’s husband prefers NASCAR to Shakespeare. Who’d-a thunk it? But Olaf’s preference for strong odors and headgear paved the way for me to attend Richmond Shakespeare’s annual Bard Bash. Artistic director Grant Mudge unveiled the company’s new eight-minute promotional film (nicely done!), which emphasizes the importance of making Shakespeare accessible, even to young’uns. Especially to young’uns. (The educational component is headed up by the enthusiastic Cynde Liffick). Bobbie Barajas—you know, from WCVE-FM?—hosted the event; it was fun to meet the woman behind the voice.

D. Even Patrick Dempsey has his off days. I know, I can hear the screaming from here. But seriously, even McDreamy has trouble pulling off hefty, wavy bangs when they obscure his beautiful forehead and detract from those lovely blue eyes. *Sigh.* Still, it was fun to see him take one fall after another—except the final fall, which proved one fall too many—in “Made of Honor.“

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E. West Tower is my third favorite cinema (Byrd Theatre first, Westhampton second)—mainly because it doesn’t have 25 screens the size of your Uncle Ned’s big-screen TV and you don’t have to wait in a line that snakes around the lobby three times. That said, the building could use a good airing. As soon as we walked in, I got a strong whiff of eau de stale popcorn. Hmm, maybe a few appropriately placed air fresheners would help.

F. Zorba’s (Greek and Italian restaurant) at Tuckernuck Square still has some of the best rolls in town. And its hummus appetizer makes for a great meal.

G. This was PetSmart’s National Adoption Weekend. I have two cats who pretty much take up every square inch of my house—but if I had room, I know I could’ve found the perfect canine. PetSmart’s Short Pump location was finding new homes for some gorgeous doggy-dogs this weekend. To them all, I say, “Happy tails to you!“

This dog was not at PetSmart, but I like his looks. He won first place in a canine fashion show in Manila, Philippines, last week. >>>>