American Idol: No luck of the Irish
Melissa Ruggieri
April 23, 2008 11:56 PM
More surprising than “Idol”’s best singer being shooed away at least two weeks too early?
The show itself running a full two minutes short. Gee, that was awkward, wasn’t it, Ryan?
But as much as it twisted my gut to see Carly Smithson sent back to tending bar in San Diego – and falling short of an “Idol” dream for the second time – I can’t say I was shocked.
In fact, in my recap from Tuesday’s Andrew Lloyd Webber show, I suggested that as potent a singer Carly is, she doesn’t have an obvious fan base, like Jason Castro apparently does.
So what did we learn last night?
Never underestimate the texting power of 14-year-old girls, who seem to be the only ones buying Jason’s one-note, albeit smooth, deliveries and finding his vapidity attractive.
But, before we knew that the Irish powerhouse would soon give her final, tearful smile (was that surprise or relief on her face?), she and her fellow bottom-two dweller, Syesha Mercado, ripped through their Tuesday night songs once again.
Carly’s “Superstar” from “Jesus Christ Superstar” smoked even more than the previous night (and, as she grinned to Simon at the end, she remembered the words) and Syesha may have earned herself an audition for Broadway’s “Xanadu” with another saucy run through “One Rock & Roll Too Many.”
And, by the way, nice tie-in to the ALW empire by showcasing the success that former “Idol”’s have found on the Great White Way, even if it meant a quick sound bite and album plug from a waxy-looking Clay Aiken.
Also padding out the show was the current love of Simon’s life, Leona Lewis, a recent winner of Britain’s “The X Factor” whose debut album (shepherded by Simon and the mighty Clive Davis) splashed in at No. 1 last week.
Ironic that she was knocked off that perch this week by Mariah Carey’s latest, since Leona is a Mariah aspirant, right down to the multi-octave voice and exotic beauty. Lewis’ performance
of her own hit, “Bleeding Love,” had Simon’s flat-top bobbing along, and aside from the mechanical backing tracks, sounded impressively live.
But it wasn’t Leona who provided the “wow” moment of the night. It was the second that Brooke White was pronounced safe for another week, despite her colossal goof on Tuesday.
As I suspected, the tenderhearted weeper obviously nabbed a ton of sympathy votes after forgetting the words to “You Must Love Me” and restarting the song.
Even a proud cynic (that would be me) could tell that Brooke’s gape-mouthed, frozen reaction to Ryan’s news was real. But with those teenyboppers sticking around to keep Jason from the Scare Zone, Brooke’s weeks are numbered, though next week for Neil Diamond night, she could surely knock out a beauty with a little “Heartlight” or “Hello Again,” something to turn everyone’s eyes dewy.
I’ll miss Carly potentially growling out “Love on the Rocks,” but how about moppet Davey Archuletta? Can he continue his string of bland, inspirational mid-tempo performances that prompts swooning from kiddies and grandmas alike? Betcha he goes for a Diamond-penned Monkees hit …”I’m a Believer,” anyone?
This just in!
Cynthia McMullen
April 23, 2008 6:43 PM
*Sigh.*
So Miley “Hannah Montana” Cyrus is writing her memoirs.
Yes, she’s 15. OK, I kept a diary when I was 15—and I realize I was just a run-of-the-mill teen—but c’mon, even with your own TV show, concert tour and kajillions of preteen fans, how much do you really have to say about your life thus far?
Ask Disney; it’s footing the bill.
Then we have poor, poor Star Jones, who after three years of wedded bliss is divorcing her husband, Al Reynolds.
I used to like Star ... until she used her wedding for personal gain, lied about her weight loss methods and got so full of herself she couldn’t ... well, you be the judge: In a statement to “Entertainment Tonight,” she 
says, “Several years ago I made an error in judgment by inviting the media into the most intimate area of my life.”
Uh, duh, Star? Do ya think that announcing your divorce to TV’s highest-rated entertainment-news show might not qualify for—I dunno—INVITING THE MEDIA INTO THE MOST INTIMATE AREA OF YOUR LIFE? AGAIN?!! Have we learned nothing from the wedding debacle?
The best news of the day, for those who can’t get enough of the Fashion Police, is Yahoo’s new site, http://omg.yahoo.com/what-were-they-thinking/photos/1716.
I’ll drop one of the pics in as a sneak peek. This photo to the left, by Stephen Lovekin and courtesy of Getty Images, shows Crystal Gayle’s scary floor-length locks. Yes, that’s her actual hair wafting past her ankles. Seriously.
Gayle is probably best known for her late ‘70s hit, “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue.” Her over-the-top do makes my hazel eyes teary.
American Idol: The Music of the Nightmare
Melissa Ruggieri
April 23, 2008 1:23 AM
A sentence I never thought I’d utter: I want my very own Andrew Lloyd Webber.
He doesn’t even have to be a Lord or a Baron or whatever poncey title usually precedes Webber’s name.
I just want a guy who looks like Austin Powers’ dad to follow me around all day and offer gentle encouragement and advice.
I do not, however, want him to say things like, “I don’t think she had a CLUE what she was singing about,” as he commented about Brooke White’s rehearsal of “You Must Love Me.”
Little did he know how literal that statement would become, but hey, let’s just say ALW is prescient, too!
But first, some background.
For ALW week, “Idol” flew the crew to The Venetian in Las Vegas, where, conveniently, a modified version of “Phantom of the Opera” is playing.
Well, if you had to spend part of your day explaining to a dreadlocked kid that a cat sang “Memory” in the production of “Cats,” well, then, sure, let the man plug his show in front of 29 million viewers.
Since we’re talking about Jason Castro, let me just say that when I tossed out the hypothetical last week of who might tackle the ginormous ballad, Jason wasn’t on my short list of possibilities. Carly Smithson and David Cook were – but turns out they did just fine without resurrecting the furry, tattered ghost of Grizabella.
Jason, however, exposed his Achilles’ heel while straining to find a comfort zone within the song: he has no lower register.
His “trainwreck” of a vocal performance (as per Randy Dawg) will likely send him to the bottom three, a space he will share with Brooke and Syesha Mercado.
I know, I know, Syesha’s sassy take on “One Rock & Roll Too Many” from ALW’s fabulicious roller derby “Starlight Express,” was probably her best performance to date.
Note the word performance.
She greased the joints in her robot armor and got all “Fabulous Baker Boys” sliding around that baby grand (I swear I had that written in my notes before Simon mentioned it), and she did hit some big, tough notes.
But she also sounded out of breath in parts and by the time she repeatedly shrieked “I can’t hear nothing,” I muttered (to my cats), “Well, yeah, not after THAT note.”
And then there’s Brooke.
Sweet, sappy, brave screw-up Brooke.
Maybe if she hadn’t bungled the opening notes of “Every Breath You Take” during ‘80s week, I could more easily overlook this week’s far more conspicuous restart when she forgot the words to “You
Must Love Me” about 12 syllables in.
But while Simon was right in noting that the reboot threw Brooke off her concentration and timing, I think her vulnerability became even more palpable, which is exactly what this pleading ballad needs.
Now, granted, about halfway through when Brooke wavered all over the scale, I was actually pining for Madonna’s version of “Evita”’s signature tune. But Brooke nailed the emotion at song’s end – even with those obnoxious hand-wavers in her face – and might garner some sympathy votes.
(Side note: I think we witnessed the most unintentionally hilarious moment of the season when Paula gently chastised Brooke for balking when she forgot the words. Oh really, Queen of the Lip Synchers? And what would you have done, had the backstage crew hit the “stop” button on the CD player?).
So there you have it, America. The most egregious offenders of the bold, bombastic, but undeniably catchy ALW songbook.
As for the other three, it was pretty much business as usual.
David Archuleta was suitably called out by Sir Webber for his grating habit of blinking or closing his eyes when he sings (although, to be fair, don’t most good singers scrunch their eyes when striving for a note?), and then turned out a perfectly smooth, moderately contemporary and, as always, Carnival Cruise Lines-ready version of “Phantom”’s “Think of Me.”
Could the cuddly Ewok possibly relate to the lyrics, “We never said our love was evergreen/Or as unchanging as the sea/But if you can still remember/Stop and think of me”?
No? You don’t think so, huh?
Quite simply, he’s a cute (to some), vocally adroit soulless package.
Now Carly, who is full of soul, almost hid her fiery passion by (all together now) Choosing The Wrong Song.
But ALW’s astute observation that, “she’s a big, big singer, that girl,” swiftly caused her to swap her choice of a gloppy ballad for ALW’s suggestion of “Superstar” from “Jesus Christ Superstar.”
Brilliant move, Sir Webber, brilliant!
Sure, a few notes were shrill when Carly got carried away with the vocal runs, but it was a star-making performance.
That said, I will never be surprised to see Carly land in the bottom three, even when she doesn’t deserve it, like this week. But she likely doesn’t have the kind of rabid fan base as some of the others (cough, cough Jason Castro), and her slick professionalism might not inspire many fickle voters to pick up the phone.
So once again, we’re down to David C.
His show-closing “Music of the Night” was the right balance of theatrical and romantic. And that final note? Niiiiice. Even when it isn’t his finest two minutes – and these weren’t – you always feel something when watching him sing, and not solely because of his posturing.
But, shallow as I am, I kept getting distracted by that dish towel hanging from his jeans. What was that all about?
So who gets the boot tonight? Was Syesha’s sudden animation too little, too late? Will Ryan have enough tissues on hand if Brooke is sent back to Nannyville? And does the music of ALW really belong on a talent show?
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Collective Soul brings its crunchy rock to The National
Melissa Ruggieri
April 23, 2008 1:18 AM
In the ‘90s, Collective Soul was probably the most understated chart-busting band.
It’s hard to recall now, but between 1994 and 1999, seven of the band’s singles hit number one on Billboard’s Mainstream Rock chart.
The Georgia boys enjoyed a slight resurgence earlier this year when the song “Hollywood,” from their current (independently released) “Afterwords” album, was used in some spots for the Hollywood rounds of “American Idol.”
Last night in front of a crowd of about 800 at The National, the Roland brothers – singer Ed and guitarist Dean – plus drummer Ryan Hoyle, bassist Will Turpin and guitarist Joel Kosche, exhibited their tight rock chops during an 80-minute set.
Performing in front of a cool backdrop of glistening stars, Collective Soul sliced through “Heavy” and “Compliment,” with an array of flickering white lights adding to the songs’ adrenaline.
Ed Roland, still in Eddie Vedder-lite mode vocally, is an animated performer, swaying around the stage with arms outstretched, the floppy ends of his white, long-sleeved shirt acting as a visual prop.
His constant futzing with the microphone stand sometimes distracted, but it’s pretty apparent that the guy enjoys his frontman status.
He strapped on a guitar for “December,” still a great pop-rock song that has plenty of vitriol lurking beneath its gently picked guitar melody. A prolonged version of the 1995 smash also included some of The Killers’ “All These Things I’ve Done” sandwiched between the second verse and final choruses.
The crunchy guitar of “Precious Declaration” and swooping melody of “The World I Know” were strong reminders of how deftly Collective Soul has straddled Top 40 and rock radio throughout its career.
Though the limelight has faded, the band’s live efforts haven’t.
Speaking of reality TV …
Cynthia McMullen
April 22, 2008 12:38 PM
I’m totally bereft now that my dream show, “The Biggest Loser,” is off the air. Until the next one pops up, anyway. I mean, what could be better than having your own personal trainer, weekly weigh-ins, regulated food and a team of folks watching you eat it (so you’d better be good) for months on end?
*Sigh.* Most reality shows wear on me by the second week. “TBL” keeps me watching, though. My only real complaint concerns those ridiculously long pauses ALL reality shows think they have to inject every time somebody is kicked off the island or away from the fridge. Oh, and the stupid scale on “TBL” that shows a ton of random numbers before blowing you away with the news that Goofy Blond Boy lost 16 POUNDS IN ONE WEEK.
Wait, did I say “reality” TV?
At any rate, Melissa and I are planning to write about the best and the worst of reality TV for the Sunday Flair section in a couple of weeks. Watch for it—or if you’d like to weigh in (ha! “Biggest Loser” humor!) in advance, drop us a comment.
Is “Rock the Cradle” tipping already?
Melissa Ruggieri
April 22, 2008 12:21 AM
A Los Angeles Times story posted yesterday cautions that the gleam of “American Idol” might be dulling (http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/tv/la-et-channel21apr21,1,4430265.story ).
But forget about “Idol” and its 7 percent slip in viewers to a still-enormously-healthy (and enviable to every other network) 29.2 million.
How about the danger zone that MTV’s “Rock the Cradle” is already apparently in, a mere three weeks into the show?
So far, we’ve seen MC Hammer’s daughter, A’Keiba Burrell-Hammer , and Eddie Money’s kid, Jesse, get booted (and does anyone else think Chloe Lattanzi Newton-John is a bit, um, disturbed?). And, if scores are any indication, Landon Brown, son of Bobby, will be warbling his last off-key tune on Thursday after earning the lowest scores of the season (now there’s a new nadir for the resumé ).
But here’s the interesting thing: For the rest of the series, MTV is whacking TWO contestants per week. Hustling up the season, are we?
Also worth noting, the re-runs of “Rock” are far fewer on MTV than they were the first two weeks, with the show instead being shoved off for MTV2 and its lowly (but way cool to me) sister channel, VH1 Classic, to deal with in replays.
Apparently, a shirtless Jesse Blaze Snider isn’t catnip to viewers.
And everyone thinks it’s so easy to emulate the “Idol” formula.
Yeah, uh-huh, I don’t THINK so.
Cynthia McMullen
April 21, 2008 8:03 PM
I’ve been out of town for a week—a family emergency that turned out beautifully (as in, my father is back home and doing well, thank you!)—so of course my e-mail in-box was crammed and spammed to the max. I suppose the most unexpected piece of mail I received was an invitation.
An invitation, you say? How lovely!
Not so, this one.
Do NOT ask how I ended up on this mailing list. I have no clue. But it’s true. I—Miss Sweetness and Light of 2008, right?—have been cordially invited to attend the launch of Girls Gone Wild magazine in West Hollywood, Calif.
It wasn’t enough that jillions of DVDs are already available?
Apparently not. “The Popular Lifestyle Brand Moves into Publishing, bringing its Celebration of Fun, Freedom and Hot College Girls to the Newsstand,” says my invitation. (Capital letters are courtesy of Girls Gone Wild.)
Furthermore, smilin’ Joe Francis, mighty proud founder and CEO of GGW (hang on a sec! Is he out on parole?) will 
be on hand, along with “beautiful girls and more than 100 of Joe’s closest celebrity friends (including the Kardashian clan).”
I still haven’t figured why members of the “Kardashian clan”—Kim, Kourtney and Khloe—are so big in the tabloids. I mean, I know there’s the E! reality show “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”—and I just found out, to my horror, that Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner is their stepdad. But I still can’t figure out what the big deal is.
By the way, Jenner’s offspring with the Kardashian mom, Kris, includes Kylie and Kendall. Too cute, huh? The one brother—not Jenner’s biological child—is named Robert. Lucky for him because he could’ve ended up a Kidron, Krispin, Kalvin or Klark. At least now he has a chance for a normal life. Nah ... scratch that.
But back to the GGW magazine kickoff (ooh, Kickoff Kardashian has a ring to it!). I’m also invited to attend the red-carpet reception, the thought of which immediately brings to mind dozens of college-age women strutting down the carpet for their Joan Rivers interview. “Who are you wearing?” she screams, as big banners (or small, depending ... ) flash across their chests: “REAL! RAW! UNCENSORED!”
Gosh, Joe, thanks, but I’m busy tomorrow night. I’m pretty sure I have to wash my hair. In fact, I might need a hot, hot shower. Suddenly I feel just a tad dirty.
Mick Mars: Not dead yet
Melissa Ruggieri
April 17, 2008 2:21 PM
Invest in some earplugs now if you plan to attend this summer’s inaugural Crue Fest.
The 40-date tour – headlined by Motley Crue—promises plenty of guitar shredding, leather and women who still think it’s 1987.
Joining the Crue will be Buckcherry, Papa Roach, Sixx: A.M. (the side project of Crue bassist Nikki Sixx) and alt-rockers Trapt.
The metal circus pulls into Virginia Beach Amphitheater at 5 p.m. July 6 and then Nissan Pavilion at 5 p.m. July 13.
Tickets for both shows are $29.50 (lawn) and $45-$95 (reserved seating).
There are a series of pre-sales going on now (visit http://www.livenation.com for details); otherwise, tickets for the Va. Beach date are up at 10 a.m. Saturday, with the Nissan show going on sale at noon Saturday.
Rock on.
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Idol: A night of loss
Melissa Ruggieri
April 17, 2008 12:15 AM
And here I thought that I’d be doing the happy Snoopy dance the night Kristy Lee Cook finally found her rightful place – off the “Idol” stage.
But maybe it was the double punch of Elliott’s sweet tribute to his mother (although I hope this message-on-hand thing doesn’t turn into a trend) followed by Mariah Carey’s heartfelt – if way, way, waaay too long – “Bye Bye,” a song she wrote about her late father, that left me too emotionally depleted to celebrate KLC home.
I did snap out of my daze long enough to shout an “Are you kidding me?!” at the TV when Ryan sent Syesha back to safety on the couch. Can’t wait to see how she drains the life out of an extravagant Andrew Lloyd Webber opus next week.
But let’s talk about Elliott for a second.
I’ve gotta say, it gives me chills to watch him on that “Idol” stage now. Just a couple of years ago, a young man with an unflattering haircut stood mannequin stiff up there, awkwardly patting his chest as he sang.
To see Elliott in his stylish duds (though not sure he needed that scarf flapping around), working the stage like a pop star and sounding incredibly confident on his song “Free,” really should be an inspiration to the remaining “Idol”-ettes.
More than many of the other contestants over the years – the Daughtrys and Taylors and Carlys who had significant experience before coming on the show – Elliott represents what “Idol” should be about; taking a kid from the pharmacy counter to the international stage.
It really did wrench my heart when he acknowledged that this was his first performance on that stage without Claudette in the audience. But how respectable of the “Idol” folks to bring him back for some massive exposure and a chance to publicly eulogize his mother.
So…on to next week. Personally, I’d love to see David Cook rock up “Another Suitcase in Another Hall” from “Evita.” But the big question is, who’s going to tackle a song from “Cats”?
Oh boy, more George
Melissa Ruggieri
April 16, 2008 11:30 PM
I never expected, in 2008, to be writing about George Michael every five minutes.
I almost feel as if I should dig through those boxes in the storage cubby and try to unearth my giant Choose Life T-shirt , proudly purchased in 1984.
But who wants to go through that much effort when you can turn on the season finale of “Eli Stone” tonight at 10 on ABC, where George will make another extended appearance?
He’s also going to sing “Feeling Good,” the 1965 song popularized by Nina Simone, which is on his new hits collection, “TwentyFive.”
I got my copy last week and after repeatedly listening to his haunting “Praying for Time,” partially to erase the memory of Carrie Underwood’s droning version during “Idol Gives Back” and partially because it’s my favorite George Michael song (well, next to “Last Christmas” ), I skipped around to check out the previously unreleased tracks.
You want to hear a perfectly constructed ballad? Take a listen to this version of “Heal the Pain,” re-recorded with Paul McCartney. Their voices harmonize so beautifully, it’s hard to discern who is singing most of the time. Just a tender, lovely song worth checking out.
The whole collection is great reminder of how many George Michael songs went unheralded in recent years. “Flawless (Go to the City),” anyone?
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