In a perfect world our flowers would always bloom, our cars would always start on the first try, our children would always do what we ask, and our dogs would always look at us adoringly. In the real world our flowers deal with environmental factors, our cars age and deteriorate, our children grow and develop thoughts of their own, and our dogs don’t always want to please us.

Dogs are highly social creatures, and they thrive on the time they spend with their “families”. But they are not genetically wired to please humans. Who came up with that idea?  Hmmm. Maybe humans. This desire-to-please idea reflects a decidedly human-centered view of the world, and probably leads to unreasonable expectations for dogs.

Dogs are genetically wired to eat, drink, breathe, sleep, exercise and form social bonds with others as a means of surviving.  Given the lack of food, water, air, sleep or exercise dogs will seek a way to fill that void. If humans are paired with the things that they need (see above list), they will find a way, through humans, to acquire those resources. And they are really good at anticipating the good stuff. Why does your dog wag his tail when you put his leash on – because he wants to please you or because he wants to go on a walk? Does he fetch the ball you throw because he wants to please you or because he needs the exercise?

Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of loving, friendly relationships between dogs and humans. We adore them and they adore us, but they don’t wake up every morning thinking of ways to make us happy. A dog who comes running when called, walks happily on leash and rests quietly on his bed is a dog with a caretaker who forged a calm, happy relationship with his dog. A human who taught him the things he needed to know and kept him safe during the process. If your relationship with your dog is on the rocks, try providing him lots of those things he needs. Then learn to dole out the really good stuff at those times he does things you really like. He’ll probably be far more inclined to please you then.

Today’s blog author is Marie Tripton. Marie is the manager of admissions and behavior services at the Richmond SPCA. Call the Behavior Helpline at (804) 643-SPCA.

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