How Much Is Enough?
Bobby Thalhimer
Jun 06, 2011
Can a person or a family have too much money?
Given the poverty and unemployment that exist in this country, this question at first seems trite. However, consider the comment by a local philanthropist who last year remarked, “Money has ruined my family.” Financial success in some families can breed greed, jealousy, slothfulness and divorce.
Under present tax law, a mom and dad can give their children $10 million without paying any gift taxes. Many families are weighing the wisdom of lifetime gifts, knowing that this option will expire on December 31, 2012, unless Congress extends it. Parents are struggling with questions. What will be the effect on our children if we transfer this kind of wealth? Will our children still be motivated to learn, succeed and give? Will their lives be helped or damaged? How will their spouses handle the wealth?
There are no universal answers to these questions. However, a different set of inquiries might inform a family’s decision on whether to make these significant lifetime gifts. Have we explicitly encouraged strong values among our family members? Do we model the importance of education, achievement, generosity and humility? Have our children and their spouses adopted these values, or are their lives headed in a different direction?
Many families engage together in philanthropy as a way to encourage strong and consistent shared values among the generations. Some families develop a charitable vision statement, which serves as a guide and constant reminder of what really matters in life. Some families openly discuss community issues and set family expectations of giving and volunteering. Some families consciously create a shared understanding that success is measured not through how much money one has, but through whether one is using time, talent and resources to make the community a better place. Generally speaking, the stronger the shared values, the more confidence parents can have in making lifetime gifts to the next generation and beyond.
Richmond is fortunate to have many individuals and families that epitomize these strong values. This week, we lost one of the great ones – Booty Armstrong. Booty used his business acumen, resources, relentless enthusiasm and leadership skills to move this community forward on fronts ranging from downtown redevelopment to airport expansion and compassion for the downtrodden (http://www2.timesdispatch.com/lifestyles/2011/jun/03/1/tdmain01-beverley-w-quotbootyquot-armstrong-dies-ar-1082394/). He met challenges head on, and he encouraged others to join him in doing so. Booty leaves behind a legacy that extends far beyond the confines of his family, and our community is richer for it.
So, how much is enough? The question cannot be separated from examining the strength of a family’s values. Wealth can empower children with strong values and ruin those with weak ones. As parents decide whether to take advantage of historically low tax rates for intergenerational wealth transfer, their assessment of the strength of their family’s value system must take center stage.
The rich always need another way to avoid paying taxes. that’s what keep them up at night. let the 10 million gift expire and pay your share.
Jul. 10, 2011 at 06:51 AM
My father taught us passion and perseverance. My mother taught us compassion, responsibility, and gratitude. Both of them volunteered all day on Saturday, in 90+ degree weather, for the 9th year in a row, at the Richmond Vegetarian Festival. I may have delusions of grandeur about my ability to change the world, but I don’t think this is always a bad trait. I believe we must think this way in order to care enough to continue to make a difference. As one of my favorite college professors once said, the best gift you can give your children is to instill in them hope for the future. Cheers, Bobby. xo
Jun. 20, 2011 at 03:29 PM
In all honesty, it must be nice to have millions to worry about, but I think the author is out of touch with reality. Most of us are worried about paying the mortgage and sending our kids to college. I try to set a good example for my children, but I will never have millions to give them.
Jun. 19, 2011 at 12:01 AM
Bobby, Well said people don’t give enough Years ago a local Man here in Richmond a gave me a quote about giving. He said “It is as easy as breathing we must All do it”. Thanks for the Blog ...Buddy Wilton
Jun. 7, 2011 at 04:42 PM
Post a comment